mirrors and punctuation

It's a rare occurrence these days for me to fully know someone.

I'm having a hard time understanding why that is. Years ago, I felt that I could nail somebody down completely in a matter of weeks, tops. Now more and more I find myself saying "I just can't figure you out", or being utterly surprised at a friend's actions. The reasons seem to be multifaceted. Is it primarily because the people I'm associating with are intrinsically deeper than my crowd used to be? Could it be because I'm starting to understand the different layers and masks people surround themselves with better? Could the opposite be the case? Am I starting to understand people LESS than I was before?

Or could it be that I'm starting to understand myself less or more than I did? It's a confusing process, which is why I'm even more satisfied when I AM able to wrap somebody up into a neat little package. It's a breath of fresh air to not have to try and interpret an action or a word or a glance as something more than is actually there. Or to be able to predict with staggering accuracy the next action one of you make. So thank you, predictable friends. You're an rock. You're an island.

---

I am having difficulty deciding whether or not i should abandon my life-long policy of refusing to capitalize the first-person "I". i started refraining back when I never capitalized anything... it seemed more aesthetically pleasing. No sharp corners. Rounded edges you could lay your head on. Punctuation failed to look so threatening; in fact, it became less a necessity and more of a luxury. words seemed to flow better between fractured sentences. Possibly because I was tending to write more, and spending less time editing. Edicts and diatribes were released as free-response yet coherent ramblings, with little or no thought as to what repercussions or reverberations they may have. Even now, when sentences begin with capitalized letters, they look like bookends to me. Periods become more definite and lasting. I'm not sure I support the structuring of my thoughts.

---

listening to: Frontier Ruckus
looking at: Organic Chemistry